~”Call me old fashioned, I need to meet you in person first, feel your energy, and then we need to have PHONE CONVERSATION, not endless rounds of texting.”
My friends think that it’s time for me to start dating. I hate dating. I hate that awkward ‘getting to know you’ phase. To me, it’s annoying. Or maybe I’m just impatient. At any rate, while I appreciate them looking out for
my love life me, but I believe that things like love have to happen organically.
Yes, I am part unicorn. I believe in love and I believe that people that are meant to be together find their ways to one another. Whether you meet at the grocery store and connect over choosing snacks or whether you meet at a networking mixer, I don’t believe in forcing anything that has to do with love.
So when my BFF told me to get on Tinder, I thought about it for a second, then I declined. Partially because I’m really a shy person and I don’t think that I would completely go through with cold calling someone because I liked their picture. Not because I don’t believe that you can find love online. I know that it has worked for some. I’m just not that into the concept for myself.
Now don’t get me wrong. I have met many colleagues in my literary career online. The internet connected me with some of my closest literary friends, people that have helped put money in my pocket and that fully support my career. I’ve even met most of them offline as well and strengthened the connection. But meeting for love? Hmmm, I’m not that into it.
So the week that I was straddling the line of joining an online dating service (purely for research purposes) I woke up to watching Good Morning America where they were airing a report on a woman named Ingrid Lyn from Seattle. She was close to my age, recently single, and ready to step out into the dating world. She meets a man, agrees to go out on a date, and never returns home. She’s found dead. And that right there deflated any idea that I had that I would even download any of the dating apps to my phone.
Truth of the matter is, you could meet a person at the store and they could be just as dangerous. Call me old fashioned, I need to meet you in person first, feel your energy, and then we need to have PHONE CONVERSATION, not endless rounds of texting. Call me and ask me out. Give me the respect of having some type of real interaction. And there are only certain places that I will agree to meet you. Public places and no, you can’t come to my house to pick me up, and no I’m not coming to your house for an intimate dinner when we don’t even know one another.
We’ve become so comfortable with the internet running our lives, we become lax with making sure that we take our safety seriously. Don’t be afraid to do so.
- Know more than the person’s screen name What is the person’s first AND last name? Try to find out as much as possible about their name and maybe the area of town where he/she lives or frequents.
- Know their phone number There are a lot of cool apps that help you to know who is calling you before you answer. Require that the person actually call you so you can have a phone number logged.
- The first date should be somewhere public Never agree to meet at a person’s home or to have them come to your home for the first date. Make sure that you meet somewhere that others will see you.
- Tell a friend where you plan on going Keep in touch with a friend throughout the date. Send a text if you change locations. Tell someone that you are going out in the first place and who you are meeting. If at all possible, send a copy of the license plate number to a friend.
- Do your research! Arrest records, warrants, and legal charges (down to traffic tickets) are public information. Check the person to see who you are dealing with. Sure, a person’s past does not always dictate their future, but it would be great to know if the man who asked you on a date is on the sexual offender list or if he has a restraining order against him.
Needless to say, I’ve just decided that I will go out and do things the old school way. Meeting people while I’m out and about. It’s never been a problem for me before. And there is no shade against anyone that chooses to use an online dating app, yours truly just won’t be swiping right any time soon.
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