“I am not defined by my ability to find a husband, have children, or by the number of degrees I have.”

I remember when I was little and my friends and I would play fun games.  These games were fun but gave me some insight about how my life will be one day. The fortune teller game and the board game, Life, are two that I remember most.

The life story that we had accepted was pretty similar for us. We would finish school, go to college, get married, have babies and “supposedly” live happily ever after. Some of us would be rich and drive expensive cars.  It seemed like most people around me pretty much had subscribed to the same plan.

Fast forward about 25 years and the fantasy life I had imagined doesn’t look, nor feel quite like how I imagined it would. Something happens in your thirties where you start to question a lot of things. Where you are personally, professionally and spiritually. My biggest question that needed to be answered was “Is this it?”  At that time I had the perspective that life kinda sucks.  I was very unhappy. Why did it suck?  It sucked because I realized that the life I had imagined was not fulfilling and did not bring me happiness. I was unconsciously taught that being a mom, wife, and career professional would make me happy. I also unconsciously accepted the fact that my life was deemed a success based on the completion of these pre-scripted life goals.

Now that I am in my forties, I know that my life is not successful based on someone else’s standards or values.  I am not defined by my ability to find a husband, have children, or by the number of degrees I have.  Nor is my life “complete” by accomplishing these goals. My happiness is not defined by the things I have or have accomplished.

“Only when we fill our own need and feel satiated from within can we truly be fulfilled and happy.” ~ Dr. Shefali Tsabary

What I have learned is that happiness lies within me, not external conditions and factors. I have learned to expect less of others and rely on myself more. The journey of discovering my personal happiness has been pretty interesting thus far and I look forward to more years of discovering true happiness. All the best to you as you discover true happiness.

Namasté

~Hilda

Follow Hilda on IG at @hildafields