I chaperoned my 8-year-old daughter’s 3rd grade field trip to the High Museum of Art this past week and let’s just say, as a 29-year-old mother of three, I don’t know if I’m supposed to wear mom jeans or not. Nope, I don’t mean the new stylish, fit and make you look sexy mom jeans.
I drop my kids off to a daycare at 6:30 am every morning and the daycare bus takes my older two to their school at 7:00 am. So, I NEVER put on “real” clothes when I drop them off. Why should I? It’s still dark outside and I literally am out of my car for 3 minutes, from the car to the front door and back to my car. As I’m dropping them off, my daughter looks me up and down in the way that only a fashion conscious (insert sarcasm here) 8-year-old could and says to me, “Please dress nice. You always wear stuff like that.” Never mind the fact that a majority of my time is spent in the house or at the football field, so “real” clothes is never required. All the while she’s staring at me with what I perceive to be disgust. *Hangs head in shame. * I sweetly tell her that I will be sure not to embarrass her and will actually put on clothes, only to be around a bunch of rowdy, rambunctious third graders. *Kill me now.* On the ride back home, I am seriously contemplating what I’m going to wear! I’m mentally going through my closet before I even reach my front door. Finally, after three outfit changes and even a feigned attempt to get out of going to the field trip, I decided on a simple three colored summer dress. If I must say so myself, I looked good. My new Victoria secrets bra was working wonders for the girls and helping with defying gravity and I didn’t need my spanx to hide those three back fat rolls (insert obnoxious giggle here.) I was cute and appropriate in a 29-year-old way and was ready to show baby girl that mommy wasn’t always a mommy and could still do some things.
I get to her school and I sashay (yes, I sure did sashay) down the hallway with full confidence. I get to her classroom and see two other moms that have volunteered to chaperone and they have on…. mom jeans. I mean like real MOM JEANS. The kind that you can pull up over the “pooch” but they don’t flatter your butt AT ALL. Matter of fact, they elongate your butt so much it almost looks non-existent. Instantly, I think to myself “Should I be wearing mom jeans? SHOULD I BE WEARING MOM JEANS?!!” Here I am, in a summer dress, tattoos showing, girls on alert, and arms out. These moms are in mom jeans, layered tops with cardigans, short stump sandals, and dull chipped toenail polish Dammit, I didn’t bring a sweater. BECAUSE IT’S 92 DEGREES OUTSIDE. Shit, maybe I should have worn closed toe shoes. Bright pink polish isn’t appropriate. WHY DON’T I OWN MOM JEANS?
So, I went on this field trip, sulking in the corner because somehow I felt inadequate and that I should have on somebody’s ugly ass mom jeans. But then my daughter told me how sexy I looked! Yes, she really did say sexy. Ummm, trying to figure out if she truly knows what sexy means is a different blog altogether. Anyway, after her comment, I felt better and was glad that she “approved” of my outfit. Because, yes the opinion of my 8-year-old is life changing. Ha!