New Year’s resolutions and other foolery

Like my fellow blogger, Cierra, the first thing I did when asked what I’m looking forward to in 2017 is took a long and deep breath.  There is a huge presumption behind the question that you’re actually at a place of looking forward to anything.

I’ve never been one for New Year’s resolutions, which we all know is foolery (us fooling others and ourselves).  And “What are you looking forward to in 2017?” sounds very New Year’s resolution-y.

Timing was and is the reason New Year’s resolutions never took off with me.  Most times, when I’m really at a place of committing to a change in my life, it’s when I’ve hit rock bottom and I’m ugly crying on the floor in my underwear….and those times come randomly like on March 23^rd or September 5^th, not succinctly scheduled on Jan 1. at midnight.  No, most times, Januarys have been pretty uneventful for me and it’s some day throughout the year, when I least expect it, that I decide in my heart to go one way or the other and actually stick with it.

And really it’s okay if I’m not Positive Patty going into the New Year.  Who says we should feel anything at all?

But after taking my long and deep breath, I can share what I am hopeful for in general and not just for 2017.  General hope is great because when I think of it, I think of what I have when I don’t have anything in particular to look forward to (thank you, Michelle Obama).  So, to that end, I’m hopeful for:

Aging like these women

One day being at peace with my decision to either regularly color my hair or to show my gray.

Witnessing Brooks’ (my 8-month old’s) first steps.

…experiencing him running to me and putting his arms around me.

…him telling me on his own that he loves me.

Enjoying my children.

More music in my home, more laughter.

Spiritual renewal (whatever that means).

Listening more to and showing up for those whose voices don’t matter.

Writing something fabulous.

Self-care that doesn’t involve dependency.

More self-care.

More days of dressing for me and no one else (thank you, Janelle Monae).

A vacation alone.