“After many adult conversations over the years, I have learned that too many people are in relationships that are not based off of authentic love and true friendship.”
Last week, my coworker shared a story about a friend of hers that reconnected with an old boyfriend and is now engaged to him. When the couple was together years ago, their relationship was not the best, according to the friend. The couple eventually split and went their separate ways. After years of dating, they reconnected and decided that they “might as well settle down” since they had not found another compatible mate in the interim. When my coworker asked her about how their reunion led to potential marriage. She was met with a response that went something like this, “While we were apart, I didn’t find anyone else I wanted to marry and I am tired of dating”.
After many adult conversations over the years, I have learned that too many people are in relationships that are not based off of authentic love and true friendship. I have close friends that have told me that they have settled on marrying their mate because they were tired of dating or didn’t think they could get anyone better.
I do know that relationships are hard work and that if you do not have a stable foundation on which the relationship is built, that it will fail miserably and very quickly (in marriage years).
Too many lives are harmed when people settle for “something called love”. Children that are born of these relationships suffer because they do not witness real love and commitment. As adults, these children are more likely to repeat the cycle. The adults in the relationship suffer physically and spiritually. In the end, nobody wins.
So, what is the big rush to be in shitty relationships? For the sake of being married? I don’t know the answers to these questions but what I do know is that I have no interest in being in a relationship that is not based on true love and authentic friendship, regardless of the title. I don’t have any interest in being married just to be able to boast about being married. I would rather boast about being a committed relationship based off of true friendship, mutual respect and unconditional love.
Maybe the issue is that many individuals do not know what real love looks like or feels like so it is easy to accept something that may resemble what they think it really is. Maybe people are just lonely and the fear of being alone outweighs the desire to be loved and love someone unconditionally.
What are your thoughts? Why are people settling for “something called love”?
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I am very recently engaged, and your article caught my attention because I’m in the middle of publishing my next post, and the title is “what’s the rush?” I noticed you put that question in your post! However, I’m on the other end of being “in a rush” to marry my very best friend. I once had a friend tell me that she thought she loved a guy, and she asked me how to know if she was in love with him. If you have to ask if you’re in love, you’re not in love! It breaks my heart to know that people are in marriages that they aren’t happy in.
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I agree wholeheartedly with the point you made about being in love. When you are in love, you know you are, without question. My heart goes out to those that have not experienced true love and being in love. Congratulations on your engagement! Even more important, congratulations on being with your best friend and not settling. All the best to you!
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