“At some point you have to get yourself together for you and your children and become an admired lady; show these other young mother’s how to handle these situations like a boss!”

All relationships can be challenging from time to time, adding a baby momma to the mix can make the relationship very challenging. First you have to understand who you are dealing with in a relationship. Will you have to deal with his mother? His baby momma? His friends? Who all will potentially be a factor in your relationship? Now in my opinion, you should only be dealing with the man and his child or children. Everyone else should not be a major factor in deciding to stay in a relationship with someone, but we all know everyone doesn’t think this way. So, let’s deal with the baby momma (BM) since this can be the most challenging aspect in majority of relationships.

As a woman, I understand other women’s emotions because I have them as well. I believe that women should get along with their man’s BM if it is possible.  I would want to have a relationship with my ex-husband’s girlfriend or wife because I think it is important to know who my children are around. I need to know her character and behavior. I want to know if she is nurturing to my children and does she handle them with love? These are the types of things women should be concerned about instead of popping off at their baby daddy because he moved on with another woman. I understand in the beginning  that the fact that he has moved on may be difficult to accept and you are allowed to show a few emotions. However, how long are you going to keep acting up and being a stereotypical baby momma? At some point you have to get yourself together for you and your children and become an admired lady; show these other young mother’s how to handle these situations like a boss!

Now, I have witnessed all types of BMs from friends and my own personal experiences. Some baby momma stereotypes include the ones that use their child as a puppet to get what they want from their child’s father, the ones that only want the child support finances to spend on themselves, the ones that intentionally wants to harm the child’s father new relationship, and the ones that are still in love with the child’s father. These mothers usually are not over their ex so their emotions and motives are based on controlling their ex with their children. I can guarantee that 90% of mothers that react this way will not make that man come back to you. I’m just saying some of these actions will actually make the man begin to hate you and you don’t want that kind of relationship with your child’s father. You can get more out of the man if you are fair and cordial towards him. I don’t care what he did, you have to move on from that and think about your child. When you step out of that hurt and victimized stage you will be way more than just a baby momma.

I hear a lot of men say, “my baby momma is crazy!” Hell, they say all women are crazy! And we are, but men know how to push us to that point. Men have to understand how to handle the situation with their new woman and their child’s mother in an appropriate manner. Everything should be respectful towards both women. The children should be handled with care in these situations. It is important to figure out the best way to present this situation to your children as well because they are the most important factor at the end of the day!

~Lisa

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