It is totally unfair that as a woman I do not get a break. I have to keep my super woman cape on. I have to put on a brave face every single day and face the cruel world. We do not get the luxury of walking away….of taking a breath and starting over. A woman has many roles in life and the most important are those of wife and mother. Both are 24/7 jobs. There are no vacations, no paid days off, no nap times and no bonuses. We are responsible for the upkeep of the family unit.
Sometimes I want to run away from it all. From my husband, my kids, my job, my home, my life…
I just need to breathe. Sit down and do nothing. Take a mental and much needed break. My mind is constantly on the go, on the move, always racing, and trying not to forget what needs to get done, what the kids need, what my husband needs, what report needs to get done before I clock out, what we need from the grocery store and a list of other needs, and all the while ignoring my needs. Ignoring that my body is tired, ignoring that I have mentally checked out and running purely off the memory of daily routine.
For a while, I wore my super woman cape well. Wore it proudly and without and any missteps. But now my cape is tattered and torn. My cape needs a break and needs to be revitalized. It’s been pulled, pushed, wiped snotty noses, peed on, endured sleepless nights, night feedings, ear infections, pink eyes, endless amounts of homework, and an infinite amount of other things that comes with being a wife, mother, student and employee. I want to take my cape off and lay it to the side for a while. Not a long while. Just long enough for me to get a good night’s rest, long enough so I know that I am not mentally losing it, long enough so that my days no longer run together and long enough so that when I do put my cape back on, I am back to being the best super woman, super wife and super mom.
Right now, I am no good to anyone. One more thing goes wrong in my life and I know that I will lose it. I know that I will go over that proverbial cliff and there will be no returning.
But without my cape, it leaves me bare and unclad. It leaves me to face ME. My truth. My reality. Maybe that is why I am so tired with it on……..