Losing Yourself After Marriage And Kids

Women love weddings, especially when we are the bride, right?  Once a woman is engaged the planning immediately follows. The planning for the overpriced ceremonies begin to become a reality. Many women go way over their wedding budget to create a day of memories and kind reactions from their attending guests. I’ve heard of flowers costing over $10,000, catering another $8,000, and dresses over $12,000. Weddings are a billion dollar industry now… (I am definitely in the wrong field)  However, once the wedding is over and we marry our prince charming, real life kicks in really fast!!!!

Many women love to say, “My husband this…My husband that” all day long. Do you know why? Because their husband IS THEIR ENTIRE LIFE!!!  They don’t have a life of their own anymore.  Once some women get married, they change their friends to their husband’s friends. Women no longer have time to do the things they like, only what their spouse enjoys. They cook to please their husband even if they are not satisfied with the meal. No more hanging out after work on a Thursday evening for drinks with coworkers. Most women feel like they have to get home to their husband and kids. Women can lose themselves in this process without even realizing it. They start to become the opposite person their husband fell in love with. However, the husband is still doing what he wants and living his very same life.

Why do some of us ladies change after marriage? I don’t have the answer, but I think it has something to do with the image we think a marriage is supposed to look like. Well, I am here to tell you that everything does not have to be traditional and boring in a marriage. Each partner should have their own friends and spend time outside of one another, it is actually healthy for the marriage. Here are a few suggestions to get you out of that funk of being lost in your marriage:  Make arrangements with your husband for him to pick up the kids from daycare at least twice a month so you can let your hair down and have fun. Continue to do the hobbies you enjoy, go places that satisfies YOUR entertainment, and continue to look good while doing it. We all know having kids may put a few extra pounds on some of us mothers, but you can still look good with those few extra pounds and most husbands will like it anyway! J

No matter what life challenges throw at you, always find a way to be happy. Search for happiness within yourself first, then your marriage and family. Create moments full of fun and love. Allow all negativity to exit your home and remove all negative people out of your life. Pray, Love your family, eat good, and travel, in that order! Life and Marriage is what you make it. Never allow someone to make you change your character to match their needs. I understand life gets in the way, but only if you let it. Make time for yourself, treat yourself, and continue being you always!