“The reality of the situation is- You are not approachable.”

Sitting with your friends at a cafe or a bar, everyone is dressed to impress and is ready to have a good time.

After a good time out, you are on your way home when you realize that no one asked you for your number. You may not have had anyone ask you to dance. Or maybe you did spend a little one on one with someone who was interested, but he did not ask you for your number.

Physically attractive ✔

Dressed nicely ✔

Out on the town ✔

Yet you are still going home alone with no prospects.

It’s easy to say things like

I really wasn’t looking to meet anyone

The right man for me just wasn’t out there

The reality of the situation is- You are not approachable.

What do you mean not approachable?

You may think that you are putting out the right vibes that will say that you are available, but then and again maybe you are not.

Here are a few ways that you can make sure that you are more approachable.

• Be aware of your energy. People are drawn to positive people. Sometimes you may not be aware that things like your facial expression, body language, and your mood can be the very thing that stops someone from approaching you. You may not appear as open to meeting people as you think that you are. Simply showing up does not mean that you are open. Your energy has to convey it regularly.
• Leave the house. This may sound very elementary, but it’s worth mentioning. The more you leave the house, the more comfortable you will be with interacting with others. Once you feel more comfortable in social settings, it will show and people will be more drawn to you.
• Learn to be alone.  That’s right. Go to a movie, dinner, shopping, etc on your own! Don’t spend time connected with others by phone or social media. Enjoy the time alone. If it makes you uncomfortable to be in your own company, how can you expect other people to be comfortable and at peace in your presence?
• Watch the company that you keep.  First, you don’t want to bring sand to the beach.  Sometimes you don’t seem approachable because you are with a group of people and that makes it not likely that you will be singled out. Second, if you happen to be with a group of friends that is loud, drunk, or acting immature, then you most likely won’t get approached.

~Tamara

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