“Maybe it’s just utter insanity. To consciously fall for someone who is emotionally unavailable.”

You ever do something and you know damn well that it’s not right, but you do it anyway? My girlfriends and I spend a lot of time talking about love and relationships. And one thing that we discuss often is falling for the wrong person.

It happens to the best of us.

What I want to know is what is it about women that makes us what to love away someone’s rough edges? What makes us want to see the good overlook all of the negative attributes and only focus on the positive?

I am a glass half full kind of person. When I worked in social work, I had a knack for being the staff member that could easily take on the kids that were deemed the worst and not have a problem with them. While other staff members could not get these kids to follow instructions or even act civilized, these kids never gave me any back talk and were respectful of me always.

I find the same thing in relationships. I’m always the woman who dates the bad boy, the one that doesn’t date or is extremely rough around the edges. And I see what other people see. But no one is one dimensional. I end up falling for that more vulnerable side that person does not openly show. This man who is hard core on the outside is not the same all of the time with me.  Something in me loves being able to tango with the devil and bring out his softer side.

Maybe it’s just utter insanity. To consciously fall for someone who is emotionally unavailable. But I’ve started to wonder if at some point, it’s not insanity. What if the love that I give is helpful and the devil needs to feel some goodness sometime?

I’m not totally sure of the answer. I’ve learned how to protect myself because tangoing with the devil can leave you mentally exhausted. But you all know that I love fairy tales and I love love. And I’m not sure that I will change that about myself anytime soon.

~Tamara

Follow me on Instagram