“I definitely agree that some women give up too much of themselves and risk too much of their lives for the wrong dude.”
Several weeks ago, a friend and I start chatting about some random subject that led to me saying that I have the potential of being a ride or die chic. He did not agree based on the little he knew about me. As we continued to explore the conversation, I asked him what his definition of a ride or die chic was. His response was something like, a woman that is there for her man no matter what, through thick and thin. Like sticking by your man while he spends years in jail. Or standing by him long term while doing something illegal. After hearing his perspective, I concluded that maybe I am not a ride or die chic after all. And I am totally okay with that, at least based on that definition.
But then I wondered if I asked random people what their definition of a ride or die chic would be. Would they agree with the above definition. So, I conducted a little research. Sent out a few texts asking what it means to be a ride or die chic. These are the responses I received.
Female, 33 years old – “Being a ride or die chic just means your loyal to the utmost. Which isn’t always a good thing. There are a lot of women who lose themselves and/or end up in fucked up situations because they are so down for their man. I think we sometimes take it too far.” (I totally agree with the sentiment that some women take their loyalty too far)
Female, 40 years old – “Well the term “ride or die” for women back in my day meant a person that would stick with you, go to war with you, or even take a charge for you. I have never been a ride or die chic, and I never want to be. Now, what I can do is simply try to be there the best way I can, if you need me. I am only a ride or die chic for my kids!!!.. lol. I mean I have done some dumb ride or die things when I was younger that I would never do now. However, I never liked the term because some men took it as the woman will do whatever for her man. And certain things I’m just not gonna do for a man!..lol Like if my man/husband/significant other had to do 20 years, hell even 10 years in prison.. I’m not waiting on him. I know that may sounds harsh, but I’m just not going to do it!”
Female, 42 years old – “I think it comes down to being a person who will love you at your worst and will push you to be your best, but accepts you for you, flaws and all!” (I can handle this!)
Male, 40 years old – “Ride or die chick is an urban term for a woman who is committed to her man and is willing to do whatever it takes to demonstrate her respect for him and their union. She supports him in every way…even if it puts her in an uncomfortable position. A ride or die chick emerges in character when she is aligned with a man of proven character. She is a woman whose respect must be earned. Coretta Scott King, Michelle Obama, Hilary Clinton and Cookie Johnson are a few examples of high profile “ride or die” chicks. Jennifer Lopez and Halle Berry are NOT ride or die chicks. It should be noted that the term can apply to males too. The Brooklyn rapper Papoose is an example of a “ride or die” dude who held things together during Remy Ma’s incarceration. Ultimately we all want a partner that we can count on. Even in the roughest of times. Are you willing to “ride or die”? (Side note- I must say that I LOVE this definition as it is the one I most align with as a woman..okay, on to the next one)
Male, 46 years old – “A woman who knows her man, his mind, his thinking, his body, his soul. Nothing else in the world matters to her but them and absolutely nothing can come between that union.”( I love this one too!)
Male, 34 years old – “A ride or die chic is one who puts up with the good the bad and the ugly, and still remains supportive, still loves and cherish, and will stand by her companion no matter what.” (I can handle this definition, but there is a limit to how much I will put up with – IJS)
After reading these responses and having follow up conversations about the topic, it seems that a “ride or die” is someone who is loyal to his/her partner through good and bad times. Loyalty. I can handle that!
If someone asks me if I am a loyal woman, I will respond “Why, of course, but to a deserving man”. Am I a ride or die chic? Maybe, it just depends on how you define the term. I definitely agree that some women give up too much of themselves and risk too much of their lives for the wrong dude. I am not judging this type of behavior because I have done the same thing myself.
Yet, the more I grow and mature, the more I realize that regardless of the term(s) used, those who desire healthy relationships want a loyal companion, regardless if you are a man or woman. I don’t know many people who would argue that point. I sure wouldn’t.
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