Peeling Away the Layers, One Brick at a Time 

At some point in our lives we are faced with an important decision. To either face the pain that we have stuffed and hid behind for years or just face it.  When I use the word “we”, I am among the countless numbers of individuals that have faced some form of emotional, physical, or spiritual, abuse and/or neglect during childhood that affects us as adults.

Mommy and I
 
We may become workaholics. We find ways to stay busy so that we can avoid feeling the pain. Or we may develop some other type of addiction for the same reason. Avoiding the pain. We may attract and remain in meaningless relationships as we are unable to determine what healthy relationships look like. Or we may avoid relationships altogether out of fear of intimacy.

Upon meeting me, people would never guess that I am a child whose mom battled addiction from the time I was 4 until my early twenties. My parents divorced when I was 4 and was absent from that point on. My father also an addict. In essence, I missed out on a lot. I was neglected in many ways. My way of coping was to act like I was okay and that it didn’t bother me. The reality is that it did bother me. It hurt me to my core.

High school yearbook photo – a pretty unstable time in my life
A few years ago, I hit a personal rock bottom. Realizing that I have got to face some serious truths. I needed some serious healing to take place.  I did a lot of work and then it stopped. I have come to realize that I cannot stop this healing journey quite yet. There is more to face. I have got to make peace with my past and rediscover my True Self.

If you are reading this article, please know that you are not alone on this journey. If you need support or encouragement, reach out to someone (including me) you trust and ask for help so you can be free from the pain.

All the best!

~Hilda

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